A Guide to Moving House

Moving house, the most stressful of stressful things that a family can endure. We are on the other side of it now, so the stress is all forgotten and what remains are the lessons learned from moving house. Here’s my guide to moving house (you can thank me later)…

> Get organised. Pack early and pack often, live with boxes piled up in your living room for weeks before necessary in a bid to be organised. Who cares if you can’t see the TV, you are packed and organised and that’s what counts.

> When packing do remember to ensure that the boxes you are filling with your most fragile possessions are properly taped together so that the bottom WILL NOT drop out of them in transit, or even while they sit in your living room waiting to move. Sh!t happens and you may never find out who is responsible. No wait, it’ll be blamed on the person who packed the box, not on the one who put it together, so that’s you, not the husband. It’s your own fault, and that’s that!

> Remind all members of your family and anyone visiting that, although your home may look like an obstacle course, that is not the case, and no one should be climbing on or playing hide and seek in you beautifully organised boxes. To this I would also add that packed boxes are not for sitting on. If someone (say a child) does sit on a box and gets stuck, that is entirely their problem, and they should be expected to replace and repack the box in question.

> Don’t discuss moving dates with your other half, they don’t care. When the time comes just point them in the direction of the pile of boxes and ask them to arrange a removal company, which brings me nicely onto my next point…

> Hire a removal company. It may cost a bit more, but it’ll be worth it, here’s why… removal companies provide a professional service, they will handle your belonging with care, they will not damage antique family heirlooms with the same disregard as your own family members, nor will they dump everything outside your new abode and clear off, leaving you to sort through a massive pile of stuff looking for pillows and bedding on you first night in your new home.

> Buy wine. Buy lots of wine. You. Will. Need. It.

> Plan to eat out for a bit. The stress of trying to find plates, knives, forks and spoons on your first day in might just tip you over the edge. Buy Pizza. You don’t need cutlery or dishes for pizza (and it goes well with the wine).

> Make sure you know where the glasses are (see my previous point about buying wine).

> Make sure you know where the corkscrew is (see my previous point about buying wine).

> Make sure the fridge is installed and switch on ASAP (it’s the wine again!).

And lastly, unlock the front door. This one is truly genuine and very important. You will be overwhelmed by the amount of visitors, neighbours and well wishers that call you see you in those first few days. They will offer to help, bring treats, ask for a tour, but most importantly they will sit for a cuppa which gives you a very good excuse to sit for a well earned cuppa. Because if you’re moving house you will be tired, drained, stressed, excited, proud and totally absorbed in unpacking that you will definitely deserve a beverage of some kind. Whether it’s tea, coffee or wine I’ll leave that up to you.

The Storybook Mummy xxx

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